i thought of you both and imagined reading these pages aloud to you. from the latest chapter in a book of cognitive dissonance and blood-brain barriers. (The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell).
"I suppose events are simply a sort of annotation of our feelings - the one might be deduced from the other. Time carries us (boldly imagining that we are discrete egos modeling our own personal futures) - time carries us forward by the momentum of those feelings inside us which we ourselves are least conscious." (192)
"The cicadas are throbbing in the great planes, and the summer Mediterranean lies before me in all its magnetic blueness. Somewhere out there, beyond the mauve throbbing line of the horizon lies Africa, lies Alexandria, maintaining its tenuous grasp on one's affections through memories which are already refunding them-selves slowly into forgetfulness; memory of friends, of incidents long past. The slow unreality of time begins to grip them, blurring the outlines - so that sometimes I wonder whether these pages record the actions of real human beings; or whether this is not simply the story of a few inanimate objects which precipitated drama around them - i mean a black patch, a watch-key and a couple of dispossessed wedding-rings...
Soon it will be evening and the clear night sky will be dusted thickly with summer stars. I shall be here, as always, smoking by the water. I have decided to leave Clea's last letter unanswered. I no longer wish to coerce anyone, to make promises, to think of life in terms of compacts, resolutions, covenants. It will be up to Clea to interpret my silences according to her own needs and desires, to come to me if she has need or not, as the case may be. Does not everything depend on our interpretation of the silence around us?" (194-195)